Gabrielle:Who is it? It is Sharla Banning?
Bree:I’m not telling who it is. I’m just asking the question. If you know a husband has been unfaithful, do you tell the wife?
Lynette: Absolutely. If he’s cheating, he could bring home a disease.
Bree: Okay, that’s what I was thinking.I mean, that’s how Bunny Connors got Chlamydia.
Gabrielle：She told me she got it from wearing someone else’s bathing suit.
Lynette:No, that’s how she got crabs.
Gabrielle：Poor Bunny. It’s always something. If it’s not the crap, it’s a botched face-lift.
Bree: Be that as it may, do we all agree that I should tell this man’s wife?
Gabrielle:I wouldn’t. Women always say they wanna know if their husband’s cheating, and they always resent the person who tells them.
Lynette:So if Tom was cheating, you wouldn’t tell me?
Gabrielle: No! But I would hire someone to beat the crap out of him.
Lynette: Aw, you’re sweet.
Gabrielle: Bree, I’m sorry. I think you gotta follow your heart on this one, even if it isn’t the easiest thing to do.
Bree:Gaby, are you and Carlos getting back together?
Gabrielle:Uh, would you excuse me?
Gabrielle:What are you doing? I told you I was having friends over!
Carlos:I’m thirsty! And this is my kitchen, too. Hey, ladies!
Gabrielle:Oh, for God sakes, put some pants on!
Carlos:Well, I wanted to. But somebody threw my laundry out of the dryer while it was still wet.
Gabrielle: Don’t act like you didn’t deserve that.
Carlos:What are you talking about?
Gabrielle:You peed in my shampoo. Admit it!
Gabrielle:Yeah, the cap was loose, and I know how your sick mind works.
Carlos:Oh, really? Well, in that case, you should know that if I was gonna do something like that, I wouldn’t do it to your shampoo. I would do it to your mouthwash, soup, and decaffeinated coffee. Ladies.
Gabrielle:To answer your question, no, we are not getting back together.
Don’t act like you didn’t deserve that.别装了，你活该
If it’s not the crap, it’s a botched face-lift.
face-lift [feɪs lɪft]n.美化; 翻新; 整修; 面部皱纹切除术; 面部拉皮术;
be that as it may意思：尽管这样，as引导的部分倒装的让步状语从句。
as引导的让步状语从句要倒装：把形容词、副词、动词、分词、名词提前，放在从句的句首。如：Child as he is ,he knows a lot.尽管他是个孩子，他知道的很多。Hard as she tried, she failed to pass the exam.尽管努力了，她考试还是不及格。Try as she might, she couldn’t get the door open.尽管试了，她还是打不开门。
beat the crap out of sb.把某人揍死