Don’t act like you didn’t deserve that.别装了，你活该

Gabrielle:Who is it? It is Sharla Banning?

他是谁？是莎拉.班宁吗？

Bree:I’m not telling who it is. I’m just asking the question. If you know a husband has been unfaithful, do you tell the wife?

我不会说是谁的。我就是问个问题。如果你知道了那个男的不忠，你会告诉他妻子吗？

Lynette: Absolutely. If he’s cheating, he could bring home a disease.

当然啊，如果他出轨，他会把病带回家的。

Bree: Okay, that’s what I was thinking.I mean, that’s how Bunny Connors got Chlamydia.

这就是我的观点。布妮.康纳就是这样被衣原体感染的。

Gabrielle：She told me she got it from wearing someone else’s bathing suit.

她说是因为穿了别人的泳衣。

Lynette:No, that’s how she got crabs.

不，那是她长阴虱的原因。

Gabrielle：Poor Bunny. It’s always something. If it’s not the crap, it’s a botched face-lift.

可怜的布妮，总有小灾小难。不是淋病，就是整容手术失败。

Bree: Be that as it may, do we all agree that I should tell this man’s wife?

尽管如此，我们都同意我应该告诉那位太太吗？

Gabrielle:I wouldn’t. Women always say they wanna know if their husband’s cheating, and they always resent the person who tells them.

我不会说，女人们总是说，如果丈夫出轨她们想要知道。但她们总是怪罪那个告诉她们的人。

Lynette:So if Tom was cheating, you wouldn’t tell me?

如果汤姆出轨，你不会告诉我吗？

Gabrielle: No! But I would hire someone to beat the crap out of him.

不，但是我会雇人把他打得屁滚尿流。

Lynette: Aw, you’re sweet.

你真贴心。

Gabrielle: Bree, I’m sorry. I think you gotta follow your heart on this one, even if it isn’t the easiest thing to do.

布里，我很抱歉。我想这次你要自己决定了。尽管这很艰难抉择。

Bree:Gaby, are you and Carlos getting back together?

加布，你和卡洛斯复合了吗？

Gabrielle:Why?

何出此言？

Gabrielle:Uh, would you excuse me?

恕我失陪。

Gabrielle:What are you doing? I told you I was having friends over!

你在做什么？我说过我有朋友要来。

Carlos:I’m thirsty! And this is my kitchen, too. Hey, ladies!

我渴了。这也是我的厨房啊。女士们，你们好。

Gabrielle:Oh, for God sakes, put some pants on!

看在上帝的份上，穿条裤子。

Carlos:Well, I wanted to. But somebody threw my laundry out of the dryer while it was still wet.

我倒想。但是有人把我还湿着的裤子从烘干机里扔出去了。

Gabrielle: Don’t act like you didn’t deserve that.

别装了，你活该。

Carlos:What are you talking about?

你说什么呢？

Gabrielle:You peed in my shampoo. Admit it!

你在我的洗发水里撒尿，承认吧。

Carlos:What?

什么？

Gabrielle:Yeah, the cap was loose, and I know how your sick mind works.

盖子没盖好，老娘知道你的鬼把戏。

Carlos:Oh, really? Well, in that case, you should know that if I was gonna do something like that, I wouldn’t do it to your shampoo. I would do it to your mouthwash, soup, and decaffeinated coffee. Ladies.

真的吗？要真那样，你该知道。就算动手脚，也不会是你的洗发水。遭殃的是你的涑口水、汤羹和低因咖啡。女士们。

Gabrielle:To answer your question, no, we are not getting back together.

回答你的问题，我们没和好。

Don’t act like you didn’t deserve that.别装了，你活该
Chlamydia [kləˈmɪdiə]n.衣原体病
If it’s not the crap, it’s a botched face-lift.
botch[bɑːtʃ]v.笨拙地弄糟;botched(过去分词）
face-lift [feɪs lɪft]n.美化; 翻新; 整修; 面部皱纹切除术; 面部拉皮术;
be that as it may意思：尽管这样，as引导的部分倒装的让步状语从句。
as引导的让步状语从句要倒装：把形容词、副词、动词、分词、名词提前，放在从句的句首。如：Child as he is ,he knows a lot.尽管他是个孩子，他知道的很多。Hard as she tried, she failed to pass the exam.尽管努力了，她考试还是不及格。Try as she might, she couldn’t get the door open.尽管试了，她还是打不开门。
beat the crap out of sb.把某人揍死