[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: There’s nothing to tell! He’s just some guy I work with!
Joey: Come on, you’re going out with the guy! There’s gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
(They all stare, bemused.)
Phoebe: Just, ’cause, I don’t want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Chandler: Alright, so I’m back in high school, I’m standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there’s a phone… there.
Joey: Instead of…?
Chandler: That’s right.
Joey: Never had that dream.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don’t know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: And they weren’t looking at you before?!
Chandler: Finally, I figure I’d better answer it, and it turns out it’s my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
Ross: (mortified) Hi.